Actual Newspaper Headlines

Actual Newspaper Headlines -------------------------

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming. 

Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During Murder Trial

Reason for More Bear Sightings: More Bears

Actor Sent to Jail for Not Finishing Sentence

Tiger Woods Play With Own Balls, Nike Says

Fireproof Clothing Factory Burns to Ground

Astronomers See Colorful Gas Clouds Bubble Out of Uranus

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Sex Offender Says Registering Will Hurt His Reputation

Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Jane Fonda to Teens: Use Head to Avoid Pregnancy

Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be "Extremely Painful"

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-Free

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Man Tries Armed Robbery with Knife in Gun Store

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25

Air Board to Study Fast Food Emissions

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

State Prisons to Replace Easy Open Locks

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

British Study Finds Less Traffic When Roads Close

Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

Gators to Face Seminoles with Peters Out

Young Marines Make Tasty Christmas Treats

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Hirohito's Body Moved

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Stud Tires Out

Air Head Fired

Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives

Midnight Memories - Imoh Richard

In a cloudless night out i lay

in my hood in a day in May

thought i should look up and gaze

stare at the moon and its beauty glaze

shining brightly in the cloudless sky

oh for such beauty i wanted to cry

Then i remembered her

I recalled the memories of times afar

memories of times when she was not so far

when on cloudless night like this one

we sit,saying nothing,looking beyond

when we held hands and slept

fearing that nothing should us split

on that spring night night outside

when our hearts was tied by a cord inside

when we listen with our hearts

to the love song of the frog at night

Oh memories of time when you and me was right

Now I see a star falling from the sky

if i should wish, hoping a fairy passes by

i wish you could see this sky with me

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2017 WHEN:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2017 WHEN:  

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this to. 

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. 

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
Ha ha ha ha.